Lonely. Lonely to the point when the feeling no longer seems to be just a feeling but a state of being. Lonely to the point where I feel like there is nothing else. It does not seem that bad to begin with. Then when you need to talk there is no one. No one you can talk to that will understand. No one who will listen. No one who will listen with no interruption. Have you ever been the one to listen and then when you need someone there is no one?
Angry. Angry at my life. That I have allowed myself to become the person that I am. Yesterday I was 14. Today when I woke up and looked in the mirror I realized I am 37 with 2 children. I don't want to be this person any longer. My house is dirty. My dog is really sick. My paw-paw has dementia. My granny won't make him a dr.'s appointment so I can go with her to hear what the doctor has to say. She wants to wait on my idiot aunt who understands nothing the doctor says.
Tired. Tired of doing what I am supposed to do. I have never been a do what I am supposed to do person. Now I only do what I am supposed to do. I don't want to do that anymore but I will I am a responsible adult and I will do what I have to do
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Lakyn is the one standing between her mom and dad.
Lakyn
Lakyn is the one standing between her mom and dad.
2 comments:
I am sorry I don't always have time to listen when you call. I do understand you being lonely. I remember feeling the same way at your age. I think it is a transition period into being a "mature" person. I don't need other people like I did when I was younger. As I have aged I have pulled closer into my family. Girlfriends aren't that big of a deal honestly anymore. And that is not a bad thing.
I sometimes want a mommy so I can climb into somebody's lap and be held. We always have to take care of everyone else. It sucks.
I'm tired of taking care of other people. Just for ONE day it would be nice for someone to take care of me.
I understand about you not always having time. What counts is that you listen to me when you do have the time. That means more than when you are busy and don't have time. I am not so selfish as to not understand that.
You know how it is that when you talk to someone and after you finish the conversation you still feel as if they do not know you any better than before or even if they heard what you were saying? I have this problem right now. Susan She doesnt hear what I am saying and sometimes she makes comments that make me want to scream at her "Are you just fucking stupid or what!" She is one of those religious people I complain about. Her kids wouldn't dare do any of the things my kids do because they(hers) know God. Well her kids are no saints. They do things behind her back that I know of yet don't say anything because I don't want to hurt her. She knew some of the stuff about Ryan and Meaghan and said nothing. When I asked her why she said she and Jimmy had talked about it and did not want to jepordize ourfriendship. That's crap. She's just shallow and self centered
Enough bitching.
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