December

I remember what I thought about Christmas as a child.The awe and wonder,all the pretty lights and family visiting.I always looked forward to my oldest sister's visit.Now I'm grown up with a husband and two kids of my own.I try so hard to make it pretty and festive around my house.It's like no one cares. They seem to view my efforts to try and include them as a waste of their time since the decorations come down in a month. To me it is all worth the effort because it's pretty and it makes me feel good.
I seem to complain alot on my blog.That's because there is no one to listen to me with out being judgmental . I feel better already.
This year will not even be the same as last year.My son is in a group home and the decision is up to his probation officer if he comes home for Christmas or not.They told him at this home not to get his hopes up because his probation officer rarely let her charges go home for ANY holidays.She had a charge there last year and her charge was the only child left athe home who did not get to go home.We're talking about kids who are in there for attempted murder who are awaiting reentry who will get to go home to their parents.My son is a theif and he may not get to come home.He's 17.If he does not get to come home it will be the first Christmas he has never been here for Christmas.
At the same time my sister's oldest daughte will not be home at her house for Christmas either.Her job on a cruise ship will keep her away through May.
I will not be the only one who is missing their child this year.My sister will miss hers.I have a friend who lost her daughter to a brain tumor last year in September on the daughter's birthday.I know I sound selfish whining about Ryan not being home for Christmas when Lakyn will never be home for anything ever again.