I am....

Lonely. Lonely to the point when the feeling no longer seems to be just a feeling but a state of being. Lonely to the point where I feel like there is nothing else. It does not seem that bad to begin with. Then when you need to talk there is no one. No one you can talk to that will understand. No one who will listen. No one who will listen with no interruption. Have you ever been the one to listen and then when you need someone there is no one?
Angry. Angry at my life. That I have allowed myself to become the person that I am. Yesterday I was 14. Today when I woke up and looked in the mirror I realized I am 37 with 2 children. I don't want to be this person any longer. My house is dirty. My dog is really sick. My paw-paw has dementia. My granny won't make him a dr.'s appointment so I can go with her to hear what the doctor has to say. She wants to wait on my idiot aunt who understands nothing the doctor says.
Tired. Tired of doing what I am supposed to do. I have never been a do what I am supposed to do person. Now I only do what I am supposed to do. I don't want to do that anymore but I will I am a responsible adult and I will do what I have to do